How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
