I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
