aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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