Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
and she was petting her beer can
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
