You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
