I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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