Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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