I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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