week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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