Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
