Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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