he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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