I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
