belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
one might say we're banned from that church
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
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