What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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