Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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