yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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