I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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