how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My ass is underappreciated
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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