i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
