saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
