Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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