i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
