Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
