Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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