Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
