It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
