WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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