i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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