it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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