I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
