I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
