Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
