is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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