I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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