It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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