i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
