I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
