i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
