i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
