He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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