my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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