I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize