You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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