my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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