I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
