i jhust puked up my retainher.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
