i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so explain again why im purple
no
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
