Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
