when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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