i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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