you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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