dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I will be naked everywhere
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
