i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
