found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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