Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
