Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
