Define "chronic" masturbator.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it was like eating out sand paper
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize