And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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