I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
