I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize