Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Say something about gay babies.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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