This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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