Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
