wat bout pragnant strippers??
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
