hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
