I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
