I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
