last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize