Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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