I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
