Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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