look no pants
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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