I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
