; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
