could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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