I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
