He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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