It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
